I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by abusive people–my mother, my ex-husbands, a couple of ex-boyfriends. Some were physically abusive. Some were emotionally and psychologically abusive. For years abuse was all I knew. I ran away from it, divorced, moved across the country to the other side of the world (from Pennsylvania to Hawaii). Things improved. I eventually found a man who was kind, loving, and healthy.
But still, despite all the counseling, catharsis, hypnotherapy, deprogramming, and reprogramming, to this day I still find myself dealing with narcissists. They could also be sociopaths or psychopaths. I’m still learning, trying to figure it out. But whatever they are, relating with these people is traumatic and painful.
The AI algorithms delivered this youtube to me when I logged on today. They listen in and respond (I know that sounds crazy, but it’s just technology). So I clicked and listened and like an angel, Dr. Carter has hit the nail on the head. I plan on tuning in to at least one of his youtubes a day. I need to get this one. It’s just too painful and I’m torturing myself. I have a tendency to love a lot and forgive far too much than is healthy for myself and even for the one perpetuating the abuse.
I’m committing to learn more about appropriate boundaries and how to protect myself, love myself more and get out of harm’s way.
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When you are with a narcissist, it is common for that person to set the pace for the relationship. Dr. Les Carter describes how narcissists have blurred boundaries, meaning they attempt to take over your decisions. He then highlights 10 distinct adjustments you can make as you establish relationship boundaries. Narcissists want control, but you can choose to be your own separate person.
Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted more than 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
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