Rather than forcing the narcissist to be different, setting boundaries means you will act upon your good sense regardless of the other person’s difficulties. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter identifies how narcissists commonly blur boundaries and offers 6 keys for you to establish your own distinct identity. Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist with 38 years experience. Hi has conducted many workshops and over 60,000 counseling sessions. He lives and practices in the Dallas, Tx. area.
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Gwendolyn Wehage2 years agoI found that I can’t even tell my narcissists about my activities. They tend to judge all my plans as silly as though nothing I do is acceptable. I have learned to enjoy my plans without sharing them with people that are not kind loving people. I no longer ignore my plans I simply go ahead and leave them out of them. It makes no sense to share with people who we know are going to try to ruin our joy.606REPLYView 41 replies from Surviving Narcissism and others
Delicate Lace1 year ago (edited)I love the way Dr Carter speaks. He speaks gently, and of course the lovely southern accent, is soothing. He delivers this really difficult topic in a gentle, but very powerful way. He does not hide the cruel facts. He has helped me to understand a man that I have lived with for 20 years, in a way, that I never under stood before. Thank you Dr Carter.360REPLYView 8 replies from Surviving Narcissism and others
Butterfly Magic with Hot Tea2 years agoWatching your videos has become very important to my wellness. Just want you to know that I truly appreciate you sharing how to identify, interpret and deal with narcissism. Thank you708REPLYView 24 replies from Surviving Narcissism and others
TopgunB1 year agoThis is what I have learned to do concerning dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. 1. Know that they will not accept any logical argument that they are wrong. 2. They are experts at twisting reality to fit their view and make you doubt yourself. Be aware it is like an illness that you cannot fix or cure. 3.Be yourself and never react or get upset–they love it, they thrive on it, they feed on control and conflict. 4. Remain calm no matter what. Concentrate on changing your emotion from anger to pity. Remind yourself that they are sick and deluded– see them the same way as you would see someone with a major physical illness. 5. Set calm rock solid boundaries. Show them that you are supremely confident in your conviction. Do not enter into debate it will just upset you and you will get nowhere. Kill debate with “Lets agree to disagree” showing them you are unflappable, and cannot be manipulated. 6. Winning is retaining your peace of mind and sense of self. It is not changing the narcissist’s behaviour beliefs or actions in any way, or getting revenge. You cannot fight darkness with darkness. You cannot make them suffer but know that they suffer continually, they seldom have peace of mind. It is exhausting and unfulfilling making so many external things essential to their happiness. It is un-sustainable. 7. If possible cut them out of your life.Read more317REPLYView 26 replies
Libra Girl2 years agoYou can’t look at interactions with them as a relationship. In their mind we exist to make them happy and to fulfill whatever expectations they have. We’re not people to them, we’re more like toys and appliances.Read more200REPLYView 9 replies
JodiB_SheLikesSteel2 years agoNarcissists are all about boundaries…they have all sorts of boundaries that you are not to cross. One great example is that you must expect nothing from him or her. Expressing needs, requirements, or expectations to a narcissist will result in an ugly reaction. The reverse is true, as you say, nothing is off limits to a narcissist.310REPLYView 21 replies
Цыпа Цыпочка1 year agoEmotional detachment is the main thing, just imagine that you live with a stranger who you need to tolerate and think about future happy new life without him. You will feel such a relief.31REPLYView reply
Dayna Kennedy1 year agoI’m a barista at a coffee house…I have 6 customers that I have identified as a narcissist…some are on the compleat opposite of the spectrum…but their goals are the same…to control and manipulate everyone…one customer plays the pathetic depressant…tries to play on everyone’s sympathy…she’s busy doing nothing other then trying to get others to do her work…she’s always trying to get something for nothing…apologizes all the time…and says…I’m sorry I’m being so difficult…but when she can’t get her way she complains to the boss about her order getting messed up…but in actuality she’s blaming others for her issues… Another customer comes into the coffee house to argue…but always acts like he’s the nice stand up kinda guy…but in a conversation he is hyper accusational…his comments don’t match up to the conversation…it’s as if he’s not even listening….because what ever you say…he will say…you need to lear how to be a nicer person…your problem is xyz…and my ultra favorite is…you need to focuse on your job…after he’s spent 15 min manipulating my time… Another lady tells me one week I make better coffee drinks then my boss…the next week she will tell him I’m messing her drinks up…then she acts pissy when I ask her how am I messing her drink up and accuses me of being sensitive… After researching narcissistic behaviors…My life at work has gotten easier since identifying their manipulation…I’m no longer wasting time trying to make them happy…its not in my power….and I’m not their therapist…Read more26REPLYView reply from Surviving Narcissism
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